I think you heard me yesterday, because today unfolds with six cards: the lovers archetype. You asked yourself didn’t you? What you’re married to? What bonds you’ve made in this life? What beliefs and feelings are unconditional? Did you stop fighting with yourself long enough to find wedding bliss in your own body? Did you admit it? Your truth.
I have to begin at the end. The interference is real. In fact, I have written and deleted several paragraphs trying to convey this to you. You are so sweet natured, and hopeful, and determined to heal and grow. You have been basking in the light, helping others to shine too. And enamoured with love, you have been unprepared for the fear that stalks.
Devils and pitchforks are too absurd to you. But you’ve seen the edge of darkness before. Backed far away from it. Learned where you can live free from ghastly imposition.
Cunningly, they have left you to your own devices. Lulled you into the comfort of that place in your life where everything grows. Where you do well. You try to cultivate the other things you want here too, but there isn’t space enough, and you end up feeling stagnant. You criticise yourself. Try to do better, work harder at it, and fail. And they watch you in your impotent loop. Knowing it is best to leave you, because you won’t fight an enemy you don’t know to be real.
Beyond the territory of your current accomplishments is the satiety you are seeking, but you have to leave. The darkness you are avoiding is the same night that wombs are made of. Where spirit splits its portal and comes hurtling into this flesh filled realm. But all mothers know birth is not without its dangers. The risk of death here is real.
So this, sweet one, is the battle plan the ancestors whispered to me this afternoon: Live from your fxcking heart. Because navigating this darkness requires a dance to a beat on the heart knows. Seriously, wake yourself up. Stop numbing. Feel the searing pain that made you avoid yourself in the first place. Feel it so you’ll sense it rustling out there in the unknown, and in your familiarity, it can never get the drop on you again.
Know your loop. Know the point where you tend to give up. Where you tuck yourself into despair, or whisper the lie that it never mattered in the first place.
The night will squeeze you and like a snake swallowing its own tail you’ll think finding yourself here again is an omen of your death. It is in some ways. The moon marks the passage of your hardest test. But it is also the symbol of cosmic change. The ace of wands is the fire tinged lightening you can only see at night. It hits the ground. A concentric ripple that pulls in other timelines. Your moment comes. A single choice. But you’ve got to be out in the darkness to even know its happening.
If you have the courage you ride through this portal hurling new possibilities at you. Guided only by the blinking stars of what you feel. You ride this night until you’ve gone long enough for the sun to rise again revealing an endless horizon of land for you to grow your dreams on.
No longer at cross-purposes; vision made manifest.
Deck: Thoth Tarot
Message: Leona Nichole Black